"Even the best vampires need a good smack..."
Sid Tillsley is a forty-six year old benefit-fraudster, from Middlesbrough, and one thing sets him apart from his northern brethren. Yes, he's an overweight alcoholic, and he's also sexist, homophobic and a lazy git... but what makes him different is that he can kill vampires with a single punch.
Now, as you can imagine, killing a vampire with a big haymaker is pretty amazing. After all, they are big hard bastards who can regenerate and stuff, and if anyone could kill them, Dracula would never have lived up to his tough-guy persona. So, when Sid kills a vampire, whom he wrongly suspects as being a homosexual dogger trying it on with him, the whole vampire world is thrown into a state of shock.
In the north-east, another monster has arisen, and one who doesn't subscribe to 'Tits.' A vampire beast is stalking the Yorkshire moors, mutilating and destroying everything in its path. The vampire elders realise that the Firmamentum has cast its shadow on the world once more. A phenomenon which happens every few millennia, where a human and a vampire are born ultimately powerful and destined to oppose each other. If Sid doesn't face the vampire monster, it will jeopardise the relative peace between the species and full-blown war will be inevitable.
That's all well and good, but Sid just wants to get pissed down the pub with his mates, and, maybe, just maybe, end his two year drought with the ladies. Besides, Sid has more important things to worry about... the benefit office are on to him, and, if they see him scrapping, they'll know that his bad back and dodgy heart are all a load of bollocks.
Available in ebook or print from LL Publications and in print or Kindle from Amazon.
Excerpts available on Mark Jackman's Website
***THE GREAT RIGHT HOPE is today's Book of the Day - so check it out on AuthorIsland.com's front page - maybe you could win yourself a copy!
Sid Tillsley is a forty-six year old benefit-fraudster, from Middlesbrough, and one thing sets him apart from his northern brethren. Yes, he's an overweight alcoholic, and he's also sexist, homophobic and a lazy git... but what makes him different is that he can kill vampires with a single punch.
Now, as you can imagine, killing a vampire with a big haymaker is pretty amazing. After all, they are big hard bastards who can regenerate and stuff, and if anyone could kill them, Dracula would never have lived up to his tough-guy persona. So, when Sid kills a vampire, whom he wrongly suspects as being a homosexual dogger trying it on with him, the whole vampire world is thrown into a state of shock.
In the north-east, another monster has arisen, and one who doesn't subscribe to 'Tits.' A vampire beast is stalking the Yorkshire moors, mutilating and destroying everything in its path. The vampire elders realise that the Firmamentum has cast its shadow on the world once more. A phenomenon which happens every few millennia, where a human and a vampire are born ultimately powerful and destined to oppose each other. If Sid doesn't face the vampire monster, it will jeopardise the relative peace between the species and full-blown war will be inevitable.
That's all well and good, but Sid just wants to get pissed down the pub with his mates, and, maybe, just maybe, end his two year drought with the ladies. Besides, Sid has more important things to worry about... the benefit office are on to him, and, if they see him scrapping, they'll know that his bad back and dodgy heart are all a load of bollocks.
Available in ebook or print from LL Publications and in print or Kindle from Amazon.
Excerpts available on Mark Jackman's Website
***THE GREAT RIGHT HOPE is today's Book of the Day - so check it out on AuthorIsland.com's front page - maybe you could win yourself a copy!
No comments:
Post a Comment